Sunday, September 25, 2011


It's time.
Tomorrow is almost here, a day I have been dreading for a long months to be exact.
I go back to work, leaving my loves for eight to nine hours each day.  And to say that my heart is breaking would be an understatement.
When I went back to work after having Conor, it was hard, very hard.  But this time it is different. Conor has turned this corner in life by starting kindergarten.  We (Frank, Rowan, and I) have been walking him to school each day.  And for the last week and a half, it has been MY favorite part of the day - he loves going to school, seeing his friends and each day is just as exciting to him as the previous.!
And I will miss him.

And then there is Rowan. She is SO fiesty - daycare lady has a challenge ahead of her!  Rowan is not even seven months old and has decided that she is ready to crawl, kneel, stand up at times, and toss everything off her highchair! She is also working on tooth number 4! She is definitely more intense than Conor was at this age. Did I mention how much she loves to nap - NOT! I get nothing done at home because of that tidbit...but, I would not want to change a thing about my spirited, young lady.

I am really having a hard time imagining how my days, my weeks will be now.  For seven months now, I have been nothing but full time mommy and wife - two of the best jobs in the world.  It is not taking on another responsibility (work) that has me upset - it is that work will take away from what I want to be, which is the best mommy and wife that I can be. I did the juggling act for the past five years, and did an okay job.  Why am I so scared this time around?  What makes it different? Seeing Conor move onto kindergarten has made me realize that my babies won't be babies forever, which is exciting and sad all at the same time.



Tima said...

Oh shame luv. I can't imagine how hard today has been for you. Thinking of you, and hoping you were able to find some joy in your day.

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