“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you.” - Winnie the Pooh


What a wise bear Pooh is...he helped sum up the emotions I was feeling today.

Today was Conor's first day of kindergarten.  A couple of months ago, I thought, no big deal - it is kindergarten, same schedule as preschool, which Conor had been attending for the past two years. Just another transition - piece of cake.  Was I ever wrong - Conor is fine, I am a bit of a train wreck.

 What is it about this rite of passage that makes a mom - or a dad - so emotional?  Going to kindergarten is BIG.  The building is big; the kids are big; the school bus is big. The whole package is a BIG deal. Will he get on or off the right bus? Will he like his teachers? Will he make friends?  Will the other kids be nice to him? Day one - all that he cared about was that he saw his BFF Allie before school, at lunch, and after school, since they are not in the same class.  So sweet.


I worry about all the above and more.  Conor is a happy, loving, affectionate, silly, fun, mischievous kid...and I want him to stay that way...forever.  Meeting new friends, being in a more challenging environment, the influences of others, is scary - for me, not him.  I don't want him to change - ever.  But I know that I need to let go...does not mean I have to do so willingly, though.  It is not that I want my little boy to stay a little boy forever - I want him to be who is right now forever - the happy, fun loving, affectionate, silly, mischievous kid that I enjoy every single day of my blessed life.  

My wish for my Conor is that he is able to retain all of those wonderful traits as he begins this wonderfully scary adventure called kindergarten...and that he lets me tag along for the ride.

How much do I love him? To infinity and beyond...